


The Promise

by Dryad



Category: SHINee
Genre: Because it makes me uncomfortable, Friendship, Gen, I don't usually write RPF or Bandom, I love you Shawols, Love, Melancholy, pg13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 07:48:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13406718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dryad/pseuds/Dryad
Summary: Maybe he was coming down with a cold. Or maybe he just had a bad case of existential flu.





	The Promise

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been able to write since December 18, when my world crumbled. 
> 
> I had a dream.
> 
> This is the result.
> 
> Terminology:  
> Hyung - a Korean honorific  
>  _-san_ \- a Japanese honorific  
>  yah! - Hey!  
> 

~*~

Jonghyun leaned his forehead against the window, staring not at the red and white strings of lights from the traffic below, but at the rain trailing down the cold glass. A sudden summer storm, flashes and flickers of lightning in the distance, highlighting the high rises in the black of the night. It could have been a scene from a horror movie, lacking only an ominous score.

Laughter echoed and Jonghyun sighed heavily. The high he always felt when performing had drained away more quickly than usual. He wasn't sure what was going on with him, really. Maybe he was coming down with a cold. Or maybe he just had a bad case of existential flu. 

Well. No matter. He was here with his hyungs, he should make the effort not to fall further under the bewitching spell of his own circling thoughts. With this in mind, he took one deep breath and then another, steeling himself for the onslaught of noise. 

The suite in which they were staying was expansive, taking up one corner of the entire floor. Having said that, there were only three bedrooms. He and Taemin were sharing, as were Kibum and Minho. Jinki had the luxury of his own room, and manager hyung was next door with the film crew. 

Tossing the book he had bought onto his bed, he shoved his hands in his pockets and headed towards the suite's living area. Just as he stepped out of the room, Minho turned the corner at the other end of the short hallway, slinging a towel around his neck. He was dressed in white; a white tank top darkened with sweat at the neck and under the arms, white sweatpants, new white trainers with a shiny silver dart pattern on the top. Jonghyun shook his head in mock concern; the boy had a problem.

"What?" called Minho, starting to smile. 

Jonghyun slowed to a stop. "You and your workouts. You might as well move into a gym at this rate."

Minho shrugged one shoulder. "It's a way to feel good."

Yes, Jonghyun knew that very well. The darkness reached with greedy fingers and he shook his head to focus. "What are you going to do when you can't get to the gym?"

"I'll make a gym," Minho said confidently. "I'll bench press _you_ ," He took the towel away from his neck and whipped it around Jonghyun's instead, then rushed forward to push Jonghyun against the wall. The marble was freezing through his shirt, no doubt the result of the air conditioning being on for weeks during the hot Japanese summer. 

He burst into a startled laugh, because Minho was looking at him with an intent expression, lips curled up on one side of his mouth, a crease between his brows, as if he were seeing Jonghyun for the first time. "Hyung, let's save it for the gym or the practice room!"

"Yeah," said Minho slowly. He abruptly took Jonghyun's head between his hands and kissed him full on the lips.

Stunned, at first Jonghyun froze, staring into Minho's equally wide eyes. All he could smell was Minho's sweat, all he could feel was the firm softness against his mouth, the heat from Minho's body. A second later he pushed Minho away, sidled along the wall with his back still firmly to it. _"Hyung?!_ What the - _what?_ You kissed me!"

Minho fell back against the opposite wall, his gaze direct even under the dimmed spotlights overhead. "I decided that the next time I saw you looking sad I would make it go away."

Jonghyun didn't even know what to say. He was surprised, flattered, and irritated all at the same time. No, not irritated: scared. Scared that someone could see through him so easily. Pleased by the same. "Oh…okay. Okay."

Minho shyly glanced down, breaking into a grin that made Jonghyun happy to have been the cause for him feeling good.

Backing towards the bedrooms, Minho pointed at Jonghyun. "Let's get sushi after I shower, yeah?"

Nodding, Jonghyun continued sliding along the wall until there was no more wall left. Minho's hugs and now, it would seem, his kisses, too. He could live with that.

The living area was filled with sleek and low modern furniture in smoked glass and chrome and black leather, complete with a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the city. It was amazing, how far they had come since debut, from being crammed five to the room in the dorm, to two in a room, and finally a separate apartment for Key while the rest of them either lived at home or remained in the dorm. Sometimes he thought about moving to his own place, but the idea didn't appeal. 

Key was at the table, stylus in hand, drawing something on his tablet. Given the patterns on their last set of suits for SHINee World Japan, Jonghyun sincerely hoped the colors of whatever they wore wouldn't be quite so eye searing. Yes, it was easier for Shawols in the back row to see SHINee on stage, but the members had to look at one another, too. Taemin was on the couch, chuckling to himself. Texting Kai, probably. He glanced up, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Jonghyun.

"Jonghyun-san!"

Jonghyun stared at him, unable to believe what he had just heard. "Jonghyun-san? Jonghyun- _san?!_ Really? _Really??_ "

Taemin smiled and waved his phone at Jonghyun. "I'm on the phone - "

"Call me Jonghyun-san one more time - !" He shook his fist at Taemin, who rolled his eyes in return.

Leave the kid in Japan for five seconds and this was what happened. Bad enough he broke into Japanese during activities in Korea. Hopefully a temporary thing. Hopefully he wouldn't move to Japan, like other idols had and then they would have to travel here to see him on the regular. Perish the thought. 

There was a little kitchenette well stocked with anything they might need, so of course that's where Jinki was, eying an open cabinet with the bottles of soju and saki, vodka and whatever that sludgy yellow stuff was in the twisty bottle. A suite with booze; they must have earned a lot in the past year! Soda, banana milk, coffee milk, soy milk, UHT regular milk. There was a jar of coffee beans and another of loose-leaf tea, a cabinet of crackers and snacks, packets of ramyeun and not a single bit of it tempted him. Besides, eating with Minho was always an adventure in quantity.

Jinki glanced up at him, closed the cabinet door. "Did you get any rest?"

Jonghyun shrugged, retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge. "As much as I expected."

"Mm," Jinki stepped around him to fill the kettle, rubbing Jonghyun's shoulder as he passed. "You can always sleep on the plane."

"If only," replied Jonghyun, leaning against the counter. He watched Jinki drop the requisite amount of tea leaves into a tiny sauce dish, take several fine porcelain cups from the cupboard, arrange them on a tray along with a teapot. Tea would never be his drink of choice in the evening, but something had changed in Jinki ever since their last round of Japanese promotions. They stood in silence until the kettle boiled, Jonghyun nursing his water, Jinki fixing a plate of sweet and savory snacks. Jonghyun snatched a couple of sesame senbei to nibble on and by the time he was done with them, so was Minho.

Dressed in fashionably torn jeans - at this point in the schedule Jonghyun didn't know if they were dressing for promotions or just going out in regular street clothing - white tee shirt and a blush pink unbuttoned oxford, Minho nodded at Jinki before turning his attention to Jonghyun. "Jjong, ready?"

Jinki swirled the water in the teapot, looked at them curiously."Where are you off to?" 

"This great little sushi place I found the last time we were here," said Minho. "Absolute hole in the wall, utterly fantastic. If we hit it right there won't be any long lines, so let's go."

"See you later, then," said Jinki, carefully picking up the tray and its accoutrements. "Don't drink too much!"

Minho shook his head at Jinki's back, leaving Jonghyun to suppress his smile. 

The little hole in the wall wasn't so busy that they had to wait in the street before being seated, and Jonghyun was happy to find it full of people who not only didn't know who he and Minho were, but who didn't care, either. There were a few sidelong glances when they spoke in Korean, yet that was it. The dishes were exquisite, the prices far too reasonable for what they were served. He was so pleased he paid for the entire meal.

They took a quick turn at a pachinko parlor before returning to the hotel. The others eventually said their goodnights and although he was tired, Jonghyun found that once again he couldn't sleep, his mind buzzing to a million different thoughts jumping around like fleas in his head. The worst part was that there was nothing concrete, no over-riding worry he could write out or record on his phone. There was the suggestion of a tune, only two notes, over and over again until he was driven half spare with the wanting for the rest of it. He hummed into his phone, then sat on the couch and stared at game show repeats on late night tv, the volume lowered until it was nearly muted.

During a lull in audience laughter, Jonghyun heard a door click shut. He twisted around to see if anyone was in the hall, half-hoping they would join him on the sofa, keep him company for the rest of the night, yet there was no one there. Sighing his disappointment to himself, he changed channels, pondered the inevitability of living with burning eyes and the inability to think for the next day and beyond. After awhile he got up and drank water out of the tap from cupped hands, unable to even bother with a glass. All that, and then he needed to use the bathroom.

Ablutions accomplished, he glanced towards the bedrooms, then did a doubletake. Although two of the three doors were closed, one was open just a crack, and a light shone into the dark hallway in which he stood. Quietly creeping forward, he gently nudged the door wider and wider, only to find Jinki sitting up in bed, tv remote in hand. He caught sight of Jonghyun and did his eye-crinkle smile thing.

"Yah," said Jinki, pulling back one corner of the charcoal gray duvet. "Can't sleep?"

"As usual," Jonghyun replied, closing the door behind himself. A couple of steps forward and then he was kneeling on the bed, propping the extra pillows up against the headboard and getting comfortable. The room was even chillier than the rest of the suite, Jinki's habit in order to sleep during hot weather. "I think this is a better bed than my own. What are you watching?"

"Mmph, baseball."

Jonghyun promptly grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels until he landed on a movie. It wasn't anything he had seen before, from the 50s or 60s, maybe, some horror flick featuring...a vampire? He offered a lifted shoulder - was this okay? Jinki raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth turning down oh-so-briefly - yes, fine, whatever you like. 

They watched the movie until a phone on the nightstand vibrated, startling them both quite badly with its rattle and flashing light. Clapping one hand to his chest to calm his pounding heart, Jonghyun shook his head in relief. There really was nothing worse than watching a scary movie and having something unexpected happen in the same room at the same time, like when they watched the Towering Inferno the night before their first Japanese concert and the fire alarm went off in the hotel the next morning. Horrible, horrible. 

Jinki sent a text and then put the phone in the drawer. "Sorry. Forgot it was there."

"I should go," said Jonghyun, feeling guilty because he had seen the time. If anyone needed sleep besides himself, it was Jinki. "Don't think I haven't noticed how little you get when we're promoting."

Jinki looked at him with no little confusion. "Ah?" 

"When we're promoting, you never seem to get much sleep. You're always up the same time as me."

"Ah, yes, that," said Jinki, blinking at him, the rest of his face utterly blank.

"Don't do that, hyung. You need your rest."

"Yes...well. Sometimes it's not that easy."

Jonghyun nodded, thumbing the remote and adding a bar to the volume. "You don't want to turn out like me."

"I don't mind."

"Well, I do!" 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jinki still staring at him, his brows crinkled. Jonghyun pointedly ignored him, at least until Jinki was half-lidded and sagging against his own pillows. Thank goodness Jinki alway requested extra pillows; Jonghyun could have gotten the ones from his bed, but he hadn't been lying, Jinki's bed was far more comfortable.

He woke up in an aura of green light from the tv, where a camera was slowly roaming through a sun-dappled forest canopy. The room was semi-dark, and he was confused and hot. Sitting up, he stripped off his tee shirt, looked around the unfamiliar room. There was - ah. Jinki lay next to him, turned away on his side. He should go, back to his own room. Taemin might wake up if he did, though, there was that. And Jinki's bed _was_ very sleep-inducing. 

Jonghyun lay back down, rolling away from Jinki and pulling the cover up to his shoulder. He was still tired, there was a chance he might fall asleep again. Breathing deeply, he encouraged himself to simply rest, to relax. He was safe with his hyungs, there was nothing to concern him. He was drifting off when sudden movement startled him back to being just awake enough. Jinki slung his arm around Jonghyun's waist, and shuffled closer until they were one big spoon. Jonghyun put his arm over Jinki's, slotting their fingers together. Yes, this was good. He could sleep now.

...

"Jjong - Jonghyun - "

His eyelids stuck together a little, so it took some effort to force them open. Minho was a blurry figure before him, holding a glass of water in one hand, scratching his chest with the other. "Hyung? What time is it?"

"Early. Wanted to know if you really wanted to go to the temple before we leave, or just have a lazy morning in."

"Mm," He needed to stretch before he made any decisions like that. He tried to roll onto his back, only to find Jinki still firmly plastered to him. Wriggling and pushing, Jonghyun managed to get Jinki to move far enough so that he could lay flat and stretch from fingers to toes. 

"I don't know...this bed...Jinki got the best one."

Minho made an exasperated face.

Oh, that wasn't on, it was far too early for that face. Jonghyun scooted back until he was flush against Jinki again, patted the duvet cover. "Try it and see!"

Minho's mouth flattened, but he got in anyway, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Jonghyun didn't say anything, and after a few seconds Minho raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Alright, it is a very comfortable bed, but you still haven't told me what you want to do!"

Jonghyun opened his mouth without quite knowing the answer to the question. Staying at the hotel didn't appeal - unless they just hung out in Jinki's bed and watched a movie - yet neither did going out. He should go out. They should go out. Do something.

"Tae," Minho said loudly when Taemin stepped in to the room. "Go out or stay in?"

Taemin snorted. "Out!"

Seeing as Taemin was already dressed for the day in black jeans and a black tee that contrasted so prettily with the lavender in his hair, Jonghyun gave up any pretense of moping about the suite. There was just the one thing. "Feel Jinki's bed first, he's got the best one, I think."

There was a strong possibility Minho muttered 'Oh my god' under his breath. but Jonghyun ignored him in favor of watching Taemin blink, then do his close-mouthed grin. A flash of what Tae was going to do came to him - "No, don't!"

It was of course too late. Taemin took a step forward then launched himself into the air, landing mostly on Jonghyun and pressing the air right out of his belly. Bony elbows and knees were everywhere, and Jonghyun got a mouthful of hair as he sucked in a breath. "Ow, get off - "

"Sorry, hyung - "

Which was said so unapologetically insincerely that Jonghyun almost laughed. 

"I want to be in the middle," whined Taemin, shoving between Jonghyun and Jinki, who, remarkably, was just waking up.

"Morning, Jinki-ya," Jonghyun said brightly.

Blinking one eye furiously, the other still shut, Jinki came up on one elbow and blearily looked at all three of them. After a long moment he shook his head and collapsed back down onto his pillow.

"Definitely going out," said Jonghyun, incongruously happy to see Jinki more out of it than he. Besides, he didn't feel too bad now that he was fully awake. "Did either of you talk to Kibum already?"

"Kibum!" shouted Minho. "Key!"

"Why do you always do these things?" asked Jonghyun querulously, frowning at Minho. "Jinki - "

"Is awake..." groaned a soft voice from the other side of Taemin. 

Perversely, Jonghyun had to keep his giggle to himself. There was just something about a sleepy Jinki that was adorable, even when calling him adorable irritated him no end. Minho elbowed him, which only made it worse, because then they could only lay there, shaking with laughter. Jonghyun didn't dare look at Minho, which was why he was so grateful for Kibum's arrival.

"What?" asked Kibum, leaning against the door frame, scraping the bottom of a yogurt container. Strawberry, by the look of it. He eyed them all, raised an eyebrow. "Do I even want to know?"

Taemin rolled up onto one hip, patted the small space between himself and Jonghyun. "Try the bed!"

Skepticism flitted across Kibum's face. "I'm good, thanks."

"Kibum-ssi…"

Jonghyun knew all too well the tone of mischief in Taemin's voice, and when Taemin suddenly leaned forward, Kibum jerked back. 

Taemin did it again, and so did Kibum, putting one foot into the hallway. That was it, Taemin scrambled off the bed and Kibum took off down the hall with a little shriek. Oh, it was on: Minho flung the covers back and crossed the room in two strides, Jonghyun quickly following.

And if Jinki pulled the nearest cushion over his face, muttering to himself about people invading his space and making him wake up at all hours of the day and night, only the rain was witness.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear readers, please remember, depression is a _FUCKING LIAR_ \- don't believe what it tells you.
> 
> Title taken from [Y.O.U - Year of Us](https://youtu.be/7TtTJ7RrmVk).  
> Color coded [lyrics](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2013/12/shinee-y-o-u-year-of-us).
> 
> To say I've been struggling with Jjong's death is an understatement. I'm sure someday I'll stop crying...but in all honesty I don't think that's going to happen until March, after the Japan concerts. Where we'll find out if the boys can really continue on - I don't doubt they can, and I know they want to: will it be too painful? I don't know. I hope it's cathartic for us all.
> 
> ~*~
> 
> Jonghyun, sweetie, I love you, I miss you, I wish I could have been there when you needed someone, anyone, to ask how you were, to give you a hug and tell you everything would be okay. I'm so, so sorry I failed you. I'm not alone in making a point to pay your legacy forward from now on; your humanitarian work will _never, ever_ be forgotten, nor will your artistry, your wordcraft, the passion with which you expressed yourself, not only in your music, but in your incredible relationship with Key, Minho, Taemin, and Onew. Don't worry, we'll take care of them, WeFreaky, your mom and SoDam, too. 
> 
> You did so very, very well. 
> 
> Rest.
> 
> ~*~


End file.
